Acts of god aren't kind to networks so it's no surprise that underwater Brisbane is offline.

But telcos aren't exactly in a hurry to reconnect. Telstra has listed 262 exchanges as "red" (ie, no-go) zones.

Why? It might be because of the dangerous floodwaters.

It could be the sharks.

Or maybe the red-bellied black snakes.

Take your pick. Looks like phones won't be coming back today.